Fasting
Weight: 330.6 pounds
Loss since 8/12/14 (216 days): 85.4 pounds
Loss since top weight (423.6 on 9/13/10): 93.0 pounds
Percentage of goal lost: 42.70%
Caloric limit: 2040 per day (reduced)
✓ Next Milestone: Lose 76 pounds (making it the biggest weight loss I have had in my life)
Next Milestone: 100 pounds lost (50% of goal)
Target Date: December 30, 2015 (290 more days)
Yesterdays food log is HERE
First, the fast… day one I did real well… difficult at first then pretty easy… day 2 I woke up weighing 329.2.. one day loss of 2.8 pounds… but not feeling great and I just got more tired and feeling in a haze as the day went on… I think it may have been in my head but I decided to have a late dinner with the family at Souplantation. I started out good.. BIG salad.. lots of lettuce, mushrooms, celery.. a little black olives… and a lot of dressing… I know that is bad but I figured that I as going to be good with everything else so I could use some calories there… I also got a bunch of pickles and pepperonchinis on the side and a 1/4 cup Joan’s Broccoli Madness… so far, so good.. diet coke… okay… then I had a bowl of tomato soup to dip the Grilled Cheese Focaccia Bread into… this is one of our favorite combinations at Souplantation and we try to go when they have it… well I should have checked the calories BEFORE going… I figured they were high but I had no idea… I later found that each small piece (about 3/4 inch by 3 inches) is 190 calories! So that was a BAD choice… I had 8 pieces… so just the bread and tomato soup was 1805 calories! From there it fell apart… I had 2 corn bread muffins with honey whipped butter, a blueberry muffin, clam chowder, Albondigas Soup, Chicken Orecchiette Soup and for desert I had a bowl with 2 chocolate chip peanut butter bars, 1 brownie bite, vanilla soft serve and butterscotch syrup… basically I lost my mind… all in all I ate… 4708 calories…
Let me say that again… 4708 calories… 230% of my total daily caloric limit… this ‘healthy’ choice was possible the worst caloric catastrophe since I started this diet.. (at first when writing this I thought it was the second worse.. the first being the Fogo De Chao dinner, but after checking that dinner was 1330 calories less than the Souplantation dinner).. The scary thing was that I left there knowing I went a little crazy, but I assumed I had been right around my 2040 daily total… still a huge amount for one meal… but really had no idea I had good SUPER crazy… very sobering experience… lesson to be learned.. go back to per researching choices when we are going to eat out… other lesson learned.. all you can eat places are dangerous.
So the next morning I woke up and surprisingly had still lost weight.. 226.6, matching my low so far on 2/24/15… it was Saturday and we went to visit the daughter… I did well at home.. preparing for dinner out I was careful with my calories.. only eating 330 calories all day until diner… we went to Johnny Carinos, an Italian place we have been to before… so I planned ahead.. or I tried to… the online pdf I found for Carino’s is 24 pages long… I also see now that it is dated 7/12/13.. so I go over it and we go to the restaurant and I start looking at the menu… and nothing matches.. there are many items on the menu I can’t find on the 24 page guide… and vise versa… so I ask for a printed nutritional guide and the waitress brings one.. it’s much smaller in scope.. and now I see things that were lower in calories on the monster guide are higher on the printed one and again there are many things on the menu not on the guide and vise versa… so I go with something I feel is a valid choice, Johnny Carino’s – Angel Hair Pasta With Articokes and Grilled Shrimp for 794 calories (via MyFitnessPal… 752 on the big guide)… and it was good.. not great… also a bowl of minestrone soup for 159 (146 on the big guide)… we got italian nachos (we got sausage) and we love these… I had a small amount that ended up being 210 calories and I had bread… I overindulged and had about a half a small loaf.. 210 calories… so after that and some diet sodas we went back to the daughters and had a desert that she had made… Betty Crocker Reese’s Peanut Butter & Chocolate Dessert Bar… I was under my daily limit by 19 calories… went home and all was well.. and then I went to pick up Jake at his girlfriends… and we went through McDonalds and I got a filet of fish… 390 calories… bad end to a decent day (diet-wise)
Yesterday, Sunday was good.. I weighed 329.6 (up 3 pounds)… didn’t eat until we had lunch at a local place called Fire Island Grill… it’s really good and I was pleased to see they had calories on the menu even though they only have 2 locations… so I had a Char-steak plate with veggies, rice and fire teriyaki sauce… about 900 calories… and a reasonable dinner at home of a chicken leg quarter, corn, rice and gray… only 2 meals and was still over by 64 calories
And then there is today… up another pound… almost back to the pre-fast weight… I need to exercise.. I need to want to exercise… even just a little bit of exercise will help…
Meatloaf tonight.. I am cooking so I will be trying to make it as diet friendly as I can.
Weight: 329.2 pounds
Loss since 8/12/14 (213 days): 86.8 pounds
Loss since top weight (423.6 on 9/13/10): 94.4 pounds
Percentage of goal lost: 43.40%
Caloric limit: 2040 per day (reduced)
✓ Next Milestone: Lose 76 pounds (making it the biggest weight loss I have had in my life)
Next Milestone: 100 pounds lost (50% of goal)
Target Date: December 15, 2015 (276 more days)
Yesterdays food log is NON EXISTENT
Well I have been struggling now for well over a month… not tracking all my calories (sometimes not tracking at all)… eating large portions and rationalizing it to myself.. same old same old.. so rather than go binging and gain all this weight back I decided to take a drastic measure to get my mind back in it… so I decided to to a 2 day water fast… mainly to take a breath and refocus and to prove to myself that I can… and if I can do that then I can track and stay under my calorie limit like I was in the beginning.
Now I know fasting is not a healthy way to drop weight, and I do have a little experience with it.. back in 1982 when I went on a huge crash diet and lost 73 pounds in a year I had a graph almost exactly the same as the one I am using now.. but on paper… if I went over the red line I fasted until I got under it again.. and at time it was until I got under the yellow line… so at one point within the first 30 days of the diet I was over the red line.. so I fasted.. water only.. for 9 days.. that’s right NINE MOTHER F’IN days.. after nine days on just water I learned a few things… first, you get over being hungry,,, at some point the hunger pangs just are there.. not a focus after awhile… second, I got real weak… and when I started getting dizzy I broke the fast… it was too long and I felt like crap at the end of it… third, nine days is too long… and if I ever fasted again I would listen closely to my body and end it if I felt it was harming me.
So yesterday I started the fast (so actually it started with the last thing I ate the day before yesterday but we will start it as of 8am yesterday… so right now it has been 30 1/2 hours of water only… some observations:
- It was really hard last night… I had told Cece that it was okay for her to cook and to eat around me (she asked)… my mistake… ground beef patties with cheese and fries was killing me!!! But I did it!
- It got easier later in the night
- Today has been pretty easy… not a lot of cravings.. might be hard not driving past all the fast food places on the way home but I think I’m okay
I may break it early and have a reasonable dinner tonight… but probably not.. just depends on how I feel later.
So I can do this… I can do the calorie counting.. I can hit my next milestone… I can lose 200 pounds!
On February 14, Valentines day, 1981 I was fed up with being alone and not having anyone special to be my valentine and I was also fed up with being fat… at 6′ 5″ and 273 pounds I was about 60-65 pounds overweight… so that night I told myself that I would have someone the next Valentines Day.. and to do that I became the most focused I have ever been on weight loss… to the point of over doing it initially, losing 31 pounds in the first 30 days and beginning to not feel well.. weak… that first 30 days was me weighing in and if I hadn’t lost a pound that day then I wouldn’t eat… water only fast until I was “below the line” on my weight graph… when I was below the line I would eat yogurt, plain turkey breast sandwich and a banana… that’s all… I worked out everyday without fail… I watched Richard Simmons’s TV show and tried some of the recipes… and I ran, every night, increasing my distance every couple of days… I hung a bicycle handlebar over a rafter in the garage and tried to do a pull-up… every night I tried and tried.. in the beginning I didn’t really move at all when I tried… but eventually, after I lost 75 pounds in 1 year, I was able to do a pull up.. actually I got to the point where I could do several… I remember that feeling when I was able to pull my chin up to the rafters and the feeling of accomplishment… happiness… I was running miles each night and a 6 mile cross country course about 3 times a week… I played racquetball and Basketball… I got down to 198 pounds and looked ‘thin’ for the first time in my life.
I leveled off at around 205 and held that for a couple of years… then I started gaining around the holidays each year.. 15-20 pounds that I would keep until the next holiday.. there were ups and downs in my life and my weight… when I was happy I got ‘comfortable’ and would gain weight… sometimes when I was sad I would gain too… The largest single weight gain occurred when I quit smoking… I had heard that the average weight gain was 11 pounds.. so I focused on staying below that.. and I did for about 3 weeks.. then I relaxed… and gained over 80 pounds in about a year… and then just kept on creeping up to the 400+ pounds that I am today… 30 years of rollercoastering up an down and up and up… that is ridiculous and insane.. I am a smart guy.. I know exactly what it takes to lose weight in a healthy way.. I know about exercise and diet and mental focus… I know that my upbringing was a big part of why I am obese.. I know all that.. yet I am still inactive… I still eat poor choices in large quantities.. I enjoy the instant gratification and don’t think about the long term… why? Why is the question.. Why am I not doing everything I can to regain my health and extend my life? Why am I not doing ANYTHING to accomplish this goal?
I have lost weight before.. I have been active before… I have all the tools I need.. I have an exercise bike.. an elliptical.. a Kinects with Fitness program… Richard Simmons DVD’s.. a jump-rope.. all sitting gathering dust… I have the ability to make whatever choices I want for my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks… there is no reason that I couldn’t start eating healthy, smaller portions right now and stick to it until I am at my goal weight… the only thing stopping me is me! My ‘block’ is what is preventing me from being the person that my family deserves. I hesitate in calling it a block for fear of giving it more power by assigning a name to it, but it has been powerful enough for all these years that I don’t think it will matter. That ‘block’ needs to be destroyed for good.
A few years back I wrote a personal mission statement which was to give me direction in my life.. I am taking this moment to define for myself what I will do right now for me. This is my new Personal Health Mission Statement:
I will make myself (my health specifically) my number one priority. I will take steps now to be more active each day. I will prominently display my weight on a graph over my scale and on my blog and update it everyday. I will focus on making the right choices for my food intake both in quality and quantity. I will not punish myself for lapses in my focus.
As the late Randy Pausch said in his ‘Last Lecture’… “Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people.” I have allowed a brick wall to keep me out for too long… I need to want this badly enough now.
Also, it took me much more than 1 year to get that special Valentine… I had Valentines through the years… but it wasn’t until 15 years ago that I finally found the special one 😉